Walking Tour for Parents

Dr. Greene's Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model consists of three basic ingredients. First, we need to make sure you have the right lenses on. Next, we need to help you identify all the expectations your child is having difficulty meeting (we call those "unsolved probems") and decide which ones you want to tackle first. Then, you'll want to start solving those problems collaboratively and proactively. (Solved problems don't cause challenging episodes...only unsolved problems do.) In each step, there's either streaming video or audio programming to help you understand and implement various facets of the model.

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The journey starts with a close look at your beliefs about why and when your child exhibits challenging behavior. If some of the common cliches -- attention-seeking, manipulative, coercive, unmotivated, limit-testing -- have been coloring your view, you're going to need some different lenses. And if you've been thinking that passive, permissive, inconsistent, non-contingent parenting is to blame, you'll need to do some rethinking there too. Thanks to an enormous amount of research that's been conducted over the past 50 years, we've learned a lot about behaviorally challenging kids. We've learned that what we've been saying about them (and doing to them) has often been counterproductive and ineffective.  So, in this section, you'll be asked to try on some new lenses -- progressive lenses -- so that you have a more accurate, compassionate understanding of challenging behavior and have a solid foundation for what comes next.

In the first video clip, you'll learn the single most important theme of Dr. Greene's model: Kids do well if they can. In other words, if your child could do well, he would do well...if your child had the skills to exhibit adaptive behavior, he or she wouldn’t be exhibiting challenging behavior. That’s because doing well is always preferable to not doing well. Watch Now

In the second video segment, you'll learn about another very important theme:  Your explanation guides your intervention.  Restated, your explanation for your child's challenging behavior has major implications for how you'll try to help. If you believe that your child is challenging because of lagging skills and unsolved problems, then rewarding and punishing may not be the ideal approach. Solving those problems and teaching those skills would make perfect sense. Watch Now 

The third video clip features yet another important theme:  The definition of good parenting, good teaching, and good treatment is being responsive to the hand you’ve been dealt. Notice, the definition isn’t “treating every kid exactly the same.” Watch Now 

In the fourth video segment, you'll learn that challenging behavior occurs when certain demands and expectations exceed a kid’s capacity to respond adaptively. But many popular explanations for challenging behavior place blame on the kid or his parents. Not this model. Watch Now 

Want even more on this topic? No problem. If you need more information about the essential principles of Dr. Greene's model, click here and listen to some relevant audio programs in the Lives in the Balance Listening Library. If you're struggling with some of the philosophical underpinnings of the model, click here for access to some additional programs in the Listening Library. But if you're ready to move on to Step Two, it starts right here...

 

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Your journey continues with the hard work of identifying the skills that your child is lacking and the specific expectations your child is having difficulty meeting (these are called unsolved problems) in association with those lagging skills. Fortunately, the Assessment of Lagging Skills and Unsolved Problems (ALSUP) to going to help you do it. Once you do it, challenging episodes become predictable, and that sets the stage for intervention to be proactive. You're going to learn that identifying lagging skills is the easy part...and that wording unsolved problems is the hard part. You'll also need to do some prioritizing, because there may be a lot of unsolved problems and you can't solve them all at once.

This first audio segment is crucial: you'll learn how to use the ALSUP (Listen Now). By the way, you'll need a copy of the ALSUP while you're listening...click here for that.  And the ALSUP Guide should help out as well...click here for that.

In these next two programs, you'll get some help with the hardest part of the ALSUP: the wording of unsolved problems. Listen Now to Program #1...Listen Now to Program #2.

New! Once you've listened to those recordings, you're ready to view an actual ALSUP meeting. In this video, you can watch Dr. Greene using the ALSUP to identify lagging skills and unsolved problems with the parents of a 10-year old boy. When you're ready to move on, Step Three is next...

 

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As you're about to see, there are three ways to handle a problem with your behaviorally challenging child: Plan A, which is where you're solving the problem unilaterally; Plan B, which is where you're solving the problem collaboratively and proactively; and Plan C, which is where you're setting an unsolved problem aside for now (not because you're giving in, but because you're not going to be able to work on all the unsolved problems at once). You'll also learn that, when it comes to solving problems, Plan B is definitely preferable. Plan B consists of three steps, and you'll be learning about that in this section, too. Included in this section are lots of demonstration videos to show you how it's done (many of the videos show educators using Plan B, but there's one showing parents using Plan B too).

In the first video clip, you'll learn all about Plans A, B, and C. Watch Now 

In this second video segment, you'll learn about the three steps of Plan B. Watch Now 

In the third clip, you'll see Plan B in its simplest form.  If only it was always this straightforward! Watch Now 

Video segment number four shows you a very important (and probably the most difficult) component of the Empathy Step: Drilling for Information. Watch Now 

In this fifth video clip, you'll see some of the common mistakes people make when they're using Plan B. Watch Now 

New! In this video, you can watch Dr. Greene demonstrating Plan B with a 10-year old boy and his parents.

Want even more info on this topic? There are lots of options! 

Click here to learn more about the ins and outs of using Plan B.

Click here to learn more about using Plan B with kids with special needs, especially those with language processing difficulties and younger kids.

And click here if you'd like some guidance on helping your child's school get with the program.